In raising children, I have found the hardest thing for a parent to endure is their pain. Whether it is physical pain, illness, or emotional pain, all you want to do is take it away. When they are little, you train them up, you teach them the ways of the big world out there, and you encourage them to stretch and grow to be the best that they can be. That’s your job. In our household, we also believe that you can be whomever you wish and never to judge anyone by the outside, but rather the inside is what truly makes an individual. After all, we survived growing up, high school bullies, trying to fit in, and figuring out what we wanted to be when we grew up. Teaching our children not to be narrow minded, to conquer the world, and to let their contribution to the world make it a better place seems like the right thing to do. Eventually your children go off to school and then you are slapped in the face with the reality that anybody can be a parent - so many really shouldn’t have gone down that road.
When children are small, you are their world and you can make it all better. As they grow up, you slowly have to let go. They have to learn how to react, how to deal, and how to be themselves. They have to figure out who they are, what makes them happy, what their passion and talents are on their own. You can support them and guide them, but they have to decide what makes them whole.
Unfortunately, they will also discover not everyone is beautiful on the inside and that there are people out there who are a big walking poke in the eye. For these people, what truly makes them happy is to do nothing more than belittle, destroy, and pick on others.
Our daughter, Anna, was busy in middle school finding music, art, writing, and what makes her, well. HER. Although some folks weren’t very nice in general, she became comfortable in her own skin and what she enjoyed in life. The summer before high school, being confident on the inside, she chose to redo her “look” to match her personality, beliefs, and artistic self. I guess the term for her new look is “Goth” and it suits her beautifully. Starting high school is a big step - a right of passage. Well, Anna was greeted very quickly with how awful people can truly be. It started with words whispered behind her back, then the whispers became confrontations, and the confrontations became slamming into lockers and shoves in the hallways. For the first time in her life, she was being judged based only on her appearance. The hardest part of all this is that she had to find a way to deal with it on her own. She didn’t want Mom & Dad to get involved.
I believe very strongly that things and people come into your life for a reason and usually when you need it the most. With Christmas break approaching, it was apparent she was not handling or dealing with the treatment of high school well at all. I understood that as her mom, I needed to be more diligent and help her find ways to express what she was experiencing. Writing, art, and music became her escape. A friend suggested several times that she listen to this band Black Veil Brides. She’s a bit stubborn and prefers Japanese Visual Kei bands as American bands in general “all sound the same and are truly boring.” (Her words not mine). Since I grew up in the 80’s, I find Rock music to be way better than most of the crap out there today. After a really bad day this friend suggested she go look up Andy Six’s current vlog/blog where he talked about being bullied…and that is the “reason” BVB came into our lives. After watching “Knives and Pens” on YouTube, Anna and her friend wanted to go to your concert. My husband, Mike, took the girls to the concert and we were ADDICTED! Anna was in a very dark place before that March 27th concert. She found something she could focus on, someone who had been in her shoes that she could relate to, lyrics that spoke to her soul, and musical talent that she respected and looked up to.
Our son Owen is now the target of the bullies and Anna, having found her inner strength, now supports him and helps him find his way.
On a whim I wrote Brock an email thanking him for supporting Andy, because in doing so he has inspired others to follow in his footsteps. Funny thing - he wrote back and now I would call him a good friend. Michael took pictures at your last Denver concert. Our summer plans are all being planned around the Warped Tour.
I don’t like to think about what might have happened if Anna hadn’t found BVB, and the army of people who accept her just the way she is. I know someday she will follow her dreams and in doing so inspire and uplift others. She will probably be a BVB fan for LIFE. Andy, Ashley, Jake, Jinxx, and CC: we respect, appreciate, and love that you enjoy what you do and have brought us all along for the ride.
Thank you,
Maureen
BVB Denver Street Team
